Saturday, July 3, 2010

those ones

the ones who are there for you
the ones you love
the ones who love you
for you and nothing more; and nothing less.

stefanielea. x

Friday, June 18, 2010

cedar creek.

its that place you love
the one where nothing else matters
its the place where you can see and hear yourself
for who you are

take me to yours and ill show you mine

careless, tranquil, calming, serene, peaceful, assuring, comforting, still; what more could you ask for.

stefanielea. x

Thursday, June 17, 2010

PQR; inspire

PQR; says:
cause ; i wanna know more about you.

- ♥ Stefanie  says:

PQR; says:
you keep alot of stuff to yourself.
your interesting.


I believe that everything has a source of inspiration; something that makes you think. Everything from the way you wash your hair, to the depth of attention you provide your school teacher. It is driven by something. My inspiration expands across many areas of life; from the way a mother handles her brat-of-a-daughter in the shopping isle, to the way the trees blow carelessly in the bittersweet winter wind. People take too many things for granted; including I, but inspiration is the key to life. If you are inspired, you will always be longing to do better at something or to do something differently. This is building your motivation to live; and isn’t it great to live. For everything you do, look for the positive. The positive often reveals true inspiration.

My inspiration to share my writing was the conversation above. PQR, you are inspirational... sometimes (L)

stefanielea. x

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Pale and White

“Still I stand tall, like a tall oak tree; my head held high for all to see.” (Craig Harrison)

I looked down at my feet and dropped my head in humiliation. The stench of embarrassment filled the air surrounding me. As I made my way down the long corridor lined with immature high school students, I could hear their insensitive comments and spiteful laughter; I could feel their malevolent glares piercing my back as I passed each of them. The grey walls glared at me too, they were moving closer and closer towards me. My feet picked up pace as my vision began to blur from the pathetic tears that I could no longer hold back. I had to get out of there!

I ran towards the large army green exit door at the end of the corridor. The cool moist air rushed into my lungs, almost making me choke; I held my breath and ran straight ahead into the dense vegetation of the nearby bushland. Cold and wet, I stood in a small clearing; alone, with my head up and my arms stiff by my sides. I closed my eyes and imagined myself as a tall oak tree, I imagined I belonged. I felt the air blow through my branches and tickle my leaves; I could smell the rain falling quietly and slowly drizzling down my trunk. This reassured me that despite my `life disaster`, the world still revolves. I stood waiting for my thoughts to collate; what to do next? That was the question that sent shivers down my spine.

As different scenarios of what I would do next played out in my mind, the sky began to fill with darker rain clouds. Each scenario started well; then ended with me hiding in an old deserted house for the rest of my life, living in a wild African jungle with the animals, or moving to a busy French city where no one speaks my language. I had no clue what I was going to do yet! The wonderful scent of the cold rain became stronger and my hair became heavier; this reminded me of my hometown. My body was beginning to feel sore from standing so still; being a tall oak tree required strength and stillness, two things that I possessed. As I slowly relaxed my muscles and looked down at my feet, the rain softened as the clouds began to clear. I took a deep breath; still contemplating my future actions. Briefly, I scanned the beautiful wet scenery surrounding me; I tried to save this moment. The moment where everything sparkled for a split second as the sun played hide and seek with the dark heavy clouds.

The high pitched school bell rang, drawing my attention away from the scenery. As I departed from the drenched bushland, my shoes squelched through the gooey sludge leaving deep muddy holes behind me. When I reached the school building I was soaked and I was ready; ready to take action. I stamped my feet hard on the cement pathway, just next to the army green exit door, until my soles began to ache. Inhaling deeply, I pushed the heavy door open; while trying to maintain a confident, yet natural image. In a movie this scene would have looked much more graceful. I kept my head up, relaxed my shoulders and looked straight ahead; for a concise moment I was an oak tree; tall and strong. There was no way I was backing down now!

I walked casually down the corridor; one foot in front of the other. This was scenario one. As I walked down that corridor, I thought to myself; this was my school now. It didn’t matter where I was in my past, or what I was; I was here, now. I walked past my fellow students, this time not in shame; this time I didn’t run. This time I was me. I held my head high for everyone to see; I was ‘the new kid.’ I ignored anyone who couldn’t accept me for who I was. People talk a lot about racism in today’s society but it wasn’t until I left my home in England that was full of people just like me that I realised how evident it really is. I was now the outcast, and the best way I could think of handling this foreign situation was to try and blend in. I still felt their glares piercing my back, and heard their comments and laughter continue; however, over time, I hoped that I could be accepted as just another student. After all, we are all just people, with different families, cultural beliefs, body shapes, names and skin colour. I am just like them, only pale and white. But until then, I will continue to hold my head high; for I am a tall oak tree standing strong.

stefanielea. x

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Time is everything

the days when you wish everything went back to normal are just around the corner...

monday; met this person and lost my breathe
tuesday; my cheeks are sore from that curve on my face
wednesday; i cant wait to see them again
thursday; my heart beats faster everytime i think of them
friday; i cant get this person out of my head
saturday; why the hell didnt i see this coming
sunday; how could i left myself fall this hard, so fast

things end, people change....
when something magical seems only too good to be true, it is.

he took the air i breathed and stole my heart.
i have no idea what happend but we fell apart.
....he left me with a broken heart.
I left my feelings out and closed my eyes; this lesson I learnt hurts inside.
Now, open your eyes and look around; guard your heart with your life and dont look down.
Keep your head up and walk straight ahead, some things in life you have to dread.
"You took the air I breathed, you stole my heart.
I dont know what happened but we fell apart.
You left me with a broken heart."
Greyson Chance

chin up, fly straight

stefanielea. x

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

that person

You’ll be in my heart
From now and forever more;

No matter what I do, no matter how many mistakes I make, or how bad I stuff up; you will be there for me. Forever you will be there, in my heart. To hold me when I’m sad, to catch me when I fall, to lift me when I’m down and to tell me when I’m wrong. It’s the things like you in life that we, as young minds, take for granted. You are always there; most of the time you are hiding in the distance, but you are ready to help me whether it’s right or wrong.

You make me smile and laugh. I can’t stop loving you; there is nothing that will make me turn against you because the love that we share is so strong. Nothing will ever break through it.

“You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always”
Phil Collins ♥
stefanielea. x

Friday, April 9, 2010


Fraser Island,

Stefanielea. x

a song of devotion or loyalty

The Cave,
"It's empty in the valley of your heartThe sun, it rises slowly as you walkAway from all the fearsAnd all the faults you've left behindThe harvest left no food for you to eatYou cannibal, you meat-eater, you seeBut I have seen the sameI know the shame in your defeatBut I will hold on hopeAnd I won't let you chokeOn the noose around your neckAnd I'll find strength in painAnd I will change my waysI'll know my name as it's called againCause I have other things to fill my timeYou take what is yours and I'll take mineNow let me at the truthWhich will refresh my broken mindSo tie me to a post and block my earsI can see widows and orphans through my tearsI know my call despite my faultsAnd despite my growing fearsBut I will hold on hopeAnd I won't let you chokeOn the noose around your neckAnd I'll find strength in painAnd I will change my waysI'll know my name as it's called againSo come out of your cave walking on your handsAnd see the world hanging upside downYou can understand dependenceWhen you know the maker's handSo make your siren's callAnd sing all you wantI will not hear what you have to sayCause I need freedom nowAnd I need to know howTo live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hopeAnd I won't let you chokeOn the noose around your neckAnd I'll find strength in painAnd I will change my waysI'll know my name as it's called again."

Mumford And Sons.

An anthem to sing to; a rhythm for my heart.
I will hold on hope. I will not let you choke. I will find strength. I will change my ways. I will know my name. That is what I will do; because not only do I have to, but I want to.

Holding you head high above the deep water. Healing a friend who is suffering from many deep wounds. Finding the positive needle in a field on negative hay. Sweeping the pathway in front of you clean of the dirt and dust collected from you surroundings. Listen to you heart, who you are is referred to by a word. That is what I will do; because I have to, I want to, and I have to.

Stefanielea. x

Friday, March 26, 2010

cant stop smiling

i watch you as your face fills will warm love
your hole is filled
some puzzle peices are put together
joy picks you up and makes you smile

...this discovery is a moment;
a moment in time.

stefanielea. x

just a poem

Parents what are they for?
Well i am told they are here to guide us,
To help us grow and evolve into healthy successful adults.
They are there for us always, through thick and thin.
To help us up when we are down and kiss our sores better.

That’s not always right
Sometimes they are the ones putting you down
Telling you to grow up and get a life..
Well thanks for that information
I don’t know if you have noticed but that’s what i am trying to do.
Maybe you should really take some notice of me sometime and you’ll finally see
I am growing up, faster than i should be
And you don’t even know it

Parents what are they really for?
I’m still trying to work that one out.

stefanielea. x


At the moment so much is happening not only in my eyeline, but all around me. The reason why I am making this blog is because I have a lot to say, but often keep it to myself; and some of my good friends would like to get to know me better? They think they can do this by reading things I let me know how it goes :) If you would like to ask me something, feel free to...I am happy to help. Ahh, Im into music!, sport, photography, fashion..sorta, and well youll find out as I post things :) Hope you enjoy!

stefanielea. x